A Bit of Home

I had this posting saved as a draft with the title "New Not Work." Life continued even though I was starting a new job, I do wish there were certain aspects that I could have pushed the 'pause' button on. However, I've been informed that life doesn't work that way.

There was a week or two period that I remember referring to in a letter to my friend Cara as an Orgy of Frustration. So much went wrong so many days in a row that is seemed no matter what I tried to do, it went wrong. Coupled with trying to learn a new job it proved to be a very trying time. If I had had more time amidst the drama/trauma I would have been able to provide a detailed account. It's maybe for the best that I cannot.

I do remember that I went on a five-store-eighteen-website search for 2009 calendar pages for my datebook. While I know still using a datebook (and I do use it less since my Crackberry and I have become one) makes me, well, dated, it should not be that difficult to find new monthly pages. It was. And running around to stores sucked up energy that I had reserved for other more relaxing things.

I remember there being some issues with the computer. I think the printer had something to do with it, but my brain has blocked all this out in an attempt to protect me from the trauma.

There was also the night that I had planned to heat up some leftovers in the oven, but then, felled by a migraine, skipped dinner altogether. I unfortunately also skipped putting the leftovers back in the refrigerator. The next evening at dinner time found me very disappointed and again frustrated at how the horrible string of migraines played havoc with all aspects of my life. I wish there was a website where you could check in and somehow (retinal scan perhaps) check your grip. I always feel like I am losing mine. Grip on what, reality, control, whatever, it was definitely slipping.

I can't even begin to go into my awful afternoon where I embarked on a what was supposed to be a simple lab work appointment. Nightmare traffic, claustrophobic parking ramp that was full but admitting cars anyway leading to mayhem, all other parking lots full, wrong address for the lab, lengthy registering process, new shoes causing bleeding heels. That's as much as I can discuss that incident without painful side effects.

I am also in the midst of recovering from a medical test that I had on Wednesday. It turned out to be a much more difficult experience that I anticipated and am beyond happy that it's behind me. One of the things that helped me through the week was promising myself some relaxation this weekend, doing some writing and some reading to help revive my spirits and body.

There was also the chicken soup incident. Fearless Hero and I are big fans of rotisserie chicken, and in an attempt to be frugal and domestic we decided to make soup out of our latest carcass. After a flurry of phone calls to mom to get directions we embarked on the chopping and boiling and such. There must have been a game on and my nose was probably in a book or I was in the midst of a desperate attempt to catch up on household tasks neglected during the week. We each were checking on the pot's progress, but we each though the other was skimming the fat. We also didn't add enough water for fear that we would have watery soup. All of these ill fated decisions added up to our final creation: chicken jello. It was decidedly gelatinous and not so appetizing. The fate of several containers of the stuff in the freezer has yet to be decided.

It was during this week that we also learned some of those stereotypical expressions are created in fact and not always exaggerated references. We had some electrical and plumbing issues come up at our apartment. We had a very friendly capable plumber come over one evening to work on our kitchen sink. Do you see where I am going with this? Yes, the phrase "plumber's butt" is rooted in fact and continues every day. Our kitchen sink is much better though, thanks.

Fearless Hero and I also changed insurances upon our marriage (yes, I am now a dependent.) We started getting bills and statements that challenged our understanding not only of the parameters of our new policy but of the written word and logic itself. It was a very frustrating few days and he had to spend a lot of time on the phone trying to get it all straightened out. Now that I am part of an organization that has a complicated set of procedures that I am desperately trying to learn, this experience left me feeling that the world at large is just one large procedure whose intricacies will be slightly out of my grasp. Or grip.

And speaking of marriage, we recently had a weekend that we dubbed 'Wedding Weekend.' Now that I am employed and earning actual money we can proceed with our wedding plans in a more fiscally responsible way. Similar to one of our what-are-we-going-to-with-our-lives-who-should-move-where planning sessions, we bought large coffees and fired up laptop. We worked on our guest list and made lists of things to check into, to delegate, to save for, to eliminate, to consider, to lose sleep over. Apparently, you cannot invite everyone you know. And you have to feed them. Which is bunk. My dream wedding is to serve pb&js and then have an extensive dessert buffet. There is deep irony in me planning to feed the masses. There's a loaves and fishes joke in there somewhere but I can't quite tease it out. Or maybe I should do like I did during our Friday night Rec dinners, get behind the griddle and make a raft of pancakes or grilled cheese sandwiches. Luckily we have lots of help with the details and planning and a healthy perspective on what the day should really be about (for those of you hoping to take away a monogrammed book of matches or to see a hundred doves being released, please prepare yourselves for disappointment). It is an overwhelming task so I must figure out effective non stressful ways to manage it while still maintaining the excitement of the day. Fearless Hero's job will be to set up a wedding website, a resource for all things related to the Fearless Hero/Comagirl wedding. Just what the web needs, another source of information on our lives. Stay tuned.

Another recent weekend had me discovering tamales during a late night food run. They are fantastic and left me wondering how come no one ever told me about these before? What else is out there waiting for me to discover? I now live in a place that has a dizzying array of ethnic foods which is one of my favorite aspects of living in LA. I love the diversity of people and neighborhoods and languages and foods and rituals and faces.

We feasted on these tamales after a day spent in Pasadena looking at the floats from the Rose Bowl Parade. We drove down with Fearless Hero's sister and nephew (who needs a moniker as well, I just haven't come up with one yet. He's a pretty cool kid so it has to be worthy. I'm still trying to come up with a cool secret handshake for us) and took the shuttle to the grounds. All the floats are there with signs on each with a phone number you can call to get a detailed explanation of the materials used in their creation. They all followed the theme for the year, "Hats Off to Entertainment" and followed the rules of having everything on the entire float covered by flowers, plants or other organic material. They were most impressive up close. We were able to see detail that no TV camera could capture. They did look different than during the parade, mostly due to the absence of the dancers, performers and guests of honor who rode them during the parade on New Year's Day. The atmosphere was very much like a fair; they were selling Johnsonville brats and funnel cake and those roasted nuts that always smell fantastic. We ate and took a lot of pictures. It was a very Southern California thing to do.

And I haven't even mentioned our visit home for Christmas. It was Fearless Hero's first Wisconsin Christmas. He was treated to a variety of weather, from 30 below to the 50s. He shivered and shovelled and climbed the huge snow mound in front of Mom's condo, which he dubbed Mount Adelman. The weather inhibited some plans but overall we were able to spend lots of time hanging out with family.

We took him to Menard's (a trip to the man's mall, Fleet Farm, was prevented by another round of snow. It's on the agenda for next time) and I have a great shot of him sporting a hunter orange hat. He had real Sheboygan hard rolls and deep fried cheese curds. We also made a trip to Miesfeld's which is a well-known old fashioned excellent meat market in Sheboygan. They are so popular that they have a drive up window for people to pick up their orders. I turned my back for two seconds and Mom bought him one of their T-shirts with a scarily realistic and large picture of brats on the grill framed by ornamental flames. It's a sight to behold. Next time you visit, ask to see Fearless Hero's collection of WI/Milwaukee tshirts, it's impressive.

We also got to see a few friends who were able to make trips from Green Bay to see us. It's my hope that my next trip home will give me more time to spend in Milwaukee, I miss my old hometown and my friends there.

I rediscovered what a joy it is to give gifts that people really like. The whole gift giving process is different now. I must take into consideration shipping time and costs and my limited knowledge of stores in our area. We started in early October and were finished early to send a large box of gifts home before we arrived. I tried my best to think of ideas for people and to not dwell on how different and sometimes sad it is to buy gifts for people I was previously used to seeing on a regular basis. My favorite memories are watching my nieces tear into their boxes containing fuzzy boots, giving my brother a Tshirt I knew he'd like and a book that I hoped he would, watching my uncle and dear friend page through the photo albums I had created for them.

The best part was having everyone, my family and Fearless Hero, in the same place together. I was able to celebrate and relish the holidays in a whole new way. I so enjoyed watching him talking and playing and hanging out with my family and friends. It was touching how different people went to so much trouble for us and did whatever they could to make our visit such a memorable one.

It was the first time we travelled together. We tried to do one of our usual tearful goodbyes at the airports for old times sake but we just ended up giggling. It was an amazing experience not to travel alone, so much more relaxing, if you can use that word in reference to air travel. The crazy weather didn't affect our flights, which was a marvel.

But both when I landed in Milwaukee and a week later landing in LA, I thought "I'm home." I'm learning what that word really means, how it changes and can be both true and not true at the same time, how it affects your world view and your piece of mind. I think it's half the reason for writing this blog. It feels like a bit of what home is.